Scalpers outside Bolshoi peddle fake tickets and overpriced garbage to tourists who don't know better. Don't be that person standing outside with worthless paper while the orchestra tunes up inside.

Book legitimate tickets months ahead through bolshoi.ru official website. Ticket prices vary wildly: 2,000-15,000 RUB depending on seats and whether it's Giselle or some modern piece nobody cares about. For last-minute options, hit the box office 2 hours before curtain - they sometimes release held seats.

Metro navigation: Teatralnaya station, any exit works. The theater's impossible to miss - it's the giant neoclassical building with columns that every Moscow postcard features.

Insider move: Standing room tickets (1,200-2,000 RUB) offer surprisingly decent sight lines from the back. Three hours on your feet, but worth it if you can handle standing through an entire ballet. Plus you're experiencing Bolshoi the way broke music students have for centuries.