The Uffizi queues are pure tourist hell disguised as cultural enlightenment. Sure, advance tickets eliminate the ticket-buying line, but you'll still wait 45 minutes because their timed entry system is bureaucratic theater — They throttle entry to maybe 12 people every 15 minutes while hundreds mill around like confused cattle with their 'guaranteed' slots.

Book the 8:15am slot if you insist on going, but by 10am every cruise ship passenger in the Mediterranean has descended like locusts. Half the experience is shuffling past masterpieces at the speed of a funeral procession while someone's selfie stick pokes your eye out.

Better plan: Skip the circus entirely. Bargello Museum has Donatello's David and Michelangelo sculptures without the theme park atmosphere. Palazzo Pitti houses actual Raphaels and Titians — You can walk right in most days and actually see the brushwork. Your sanity is worth more than checking Uffizi off some bucket list.