Look, Borough Market is a tourist zoo, but the produce quality is actually decent if you're not an idiot about timing. Saturday at 10am? Forget it. Thursday morning or Saturday after 4pm when the coaches leave.

Neal's Yard is completely different energy — Tiny colourful courtyard with overpriced but Instagram-worthy spots. Borough Market's German bratwurst stall knows what they're doing. Monmouth Coffee is Instagram nonsense; Ethiopian stall has better beans and no queue.

Most important: bring proper cash. Half these vendors still think contactless is witchcraft.